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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Questions Regarding South Africa in Preparation of the 2010 Soccer World Cup

























From today it is exactly one year before the world's premier sporting event, the Soccer World Cup takes place in South Africa. In preparation of this huge event I thought I should do my bit by posting some questions and answers from a South African Travel Website.

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes..


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send
me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in
South Africa? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big
triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )

A: No, WE don 't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather
.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female
population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.


Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )

A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them
.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all
year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African
snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.


Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while
I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.


Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.


Thanks to Catherine for sending me the content.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good day Sir. Really like Q & A. keep it commming . Also wanted to know are you going to be attending any World Cup games.How exciting I left Mexico in January 1986 @ 10 yrs old after earthquake .and in 1994 WC I was 18 with a beatifull baby son and Wife living Broke in Arizona US. But have watch almost every game in tv since Italy 90 .
Juan from Arizona USA. email juanbjjjjj@aol.com